PROCTOLOGISTICS
Yeah, I’m back.
With a quarter of the season over, there is no sign that any of you can slow your roll and quit overreacting. I figured I’d jump in and set you cucks straight. It’s like you fucks have never experienced a full season of football before.
I have no intention of explaining the situation for every team. I don’t have the time, and you wouldn’t understand it anyway.
Here’s the highlights:
- The Rams are the most complete team in the league.
- The Bears are NOT too high. It’s not because Trubisky has shown he can throw left, or get the ball down the field with accuracy. It’s because they have one of the two best defenses in the league.
- Atlanta is NOT to high. They lost 3 close games to three good teams. They’ll will be around, and competing later in the year.
- Green Bay is 1 Second coming performance by Aaron Rodgers from being tied with Minnesota for suckage. Their signature win is against the Bills for fucks sake.
- Minnesota’s defense sucks.
- Saints big win: Falcons, Big loss: Tampa fucking bay.
- Philly is regressing to the mean.
- The Lions suck.
IT’S TIME TO RANK ‘EM AND SPANK ‘EM
Rank | Team |
---|---|
1 | Los Angeles Rams |
2 | Kansas City Chiefs |
3 | Chicago Bears |
4 | Miami Dolphins |
5 | Carolina panthers |
6 | New Orleans Saints |
7 | Tennessee Titans |
8 | Jacksonville Jaguars |
9 | Green Bay packers |
10 | Cincinnati Bengals |
11 | Atlanta Falcons |
12 | Washington Redskins |
13 | Philadelphia Eagles |
14 | Seattle Seahawks |
15 | New England patriots |
16 | Los Angeles Chargers |
17 | Pittsburgh Steelers |
18 | Minnesota Vikings |
19 | Cleveland Browns |
20 | Baltimore Ravens |
21 | Denver Broncos |
22 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers |
23 | Dallas Cowboys |
24 | Indianapolis Colts |
25 | Detroit Lions |
26 | San Francisco 49ers |
27 | New York Jets |
28 | New York Giants |
29 | Houston Texans |
30 | Buffalo Bills |
31 | Oakland Raiders |
32 | Arizona cardinals |