Merry Christmas to everyone in FYS land, and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, well fuck you, I celebrate it and that is what I am going to call it. If you say Happy Chanukah or whatever the fuck else you celebrate, I won’t get offended if you say that greeting to me. But I have spent plenty of time telling you what to hate, but this is the Christmas season, it’s time to spread some holiday cheer. So here is my Merry Christmas to FYS land
1) MKE: For Christmas you need to a six pack of beer. It’s clear to me you have had way too many salty pretzels at the bar since you lost to me in fantasy.
2) Nate, you need some weed to mellow you the fuck off
3) Jammin, you need a condom. Jesus is the reason for the season, and Jesus was an optimist after all
4) Prep, I just wish you could go to your favorite burrito joint in Dayton without causing your asshole debilitating pain
5) SDL, you need a Harley, so you can create ambiguity when telling people to “Suck your fat hog”
6) nichels A one way ticket back to the fucking South. It’s bad enough you Southies bitch about the Yankees coming and moving down there, but you gotta come up and invade our territory. Seriously fuck you guys, you can’t have it both ways.
7) Glove, the ability to deadlift another 25 pound so he can reach the magic 500. I am pulling for you buddy
8) MIB, a copy of “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus” because he hasn’t the slightest clue on how to deal with women
9) Raji needs a pair of platform shoes, so he can feel like a normal human being
10) French Andy needs a White Flag, so he can get into the whole French spirit of surrendering
11) Donny, people to come visit your deck
12) MaC, beer that actually tastes like beer. Drop the pumpkin shit already
If I didn’t get you, it doesn’t mean I don’t care, I did this in a rush and If I see you around, I will tell you what I will get you for Christmas.