I was bored and did a thing. Enjoy, or don’t, I really don’t care.
| Rank | Team | Record | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Baltimore Ravens | 8-2 | Pretty good team |
| 2 | San Francisco 49ers | 9-1 | Jimmy G is bad though. |
| 3 | New England Patriots | 9-1 | Tom Brady is also bad |
| 4 | New Orleans Saints | 8-2 | Still doesn't forgive you for getting bent over by the falcons |
| 5 | Seattle Seahawks | 8-2 | Not a fan of this team in general. |
| 6 | Green Bay Packers | 8-2 | Are they even any good? |
| 7 | Minnesota Vikings | 8-3 | Good thing the broncos fell asleep like the people reading this zzzzzzzzzz. |
| 8 | Kansas City Chiefs | 7-4 | They have fast guys. |
| 9 | Dallas Cowboys | 6-4 | This team should be so much better than it is. |
| 10 | Los Angeles Rams | 6-4 | That offense is truly offensive. |
| 11 | Houston Texans | 6-4 | WOOF |
| 12 | Buffalo Bills | 7-3 | Buffalo has the worst teams and citizens. |
| 13 | Oakland Raiders | 6-4 | Now that's a black hole I wouldn't like to visit. |
| 14 | Philadelphia Eagles | 5-5 | Carson probably Wentz his bed. |
| 15 | Indianapolis Colts | 6-4 | Omg I'm only halfway done? |
| 16 | Carolina Panthers | 5-5 | Panthers? more like pampers for the way you shit yourself. |
| 17 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 5-5 | Bad |
| 18 | Tennessee Titans | 5-5 | Not good |
| 19 | Los Angeles Chargers | 4-7 | Rivers is bad. |
| 20 | Jacksonville Jaguars | 4-6 | Terrible. |
| 21 | Atlanta Falcons | 3-7 | Dan Quinn rally is on. #jobsecure |
| 22 | Cleveland Browns | 4-6 | OK QBs are historically bad NFL options. |
| 23 | Arizona Cardinals | 3-7-1 | Way to let em off the hook again. |
| 24 | Chicago Bears | 4-6 | Smells like burnt trash and tears. |
| 25 | Detroit Lions | 3-6-1 | Patricia really needs to force a winning culture on these guys. |
| 26 | Denver Broncos | 3-7 | JFC |
| 27 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers | 3-7 | Is anyone even still reading these? |
| 28 | New York Jets | 3-7 | 9/11 was an inside job. |
| 29 | Miami Dolphins | 2-8 | Laces out Dan. |
| 30 | New York Giants | 2-8 | Spring training is only a few months away. |
| 31 | Washington Redskins | 1-9 | More dysfunctional than Rodgers and McCarthy's relationship. |
| 32 | Cincinnati Bengals | 0-10 | Bengals haven't won since letting Marvin Lewis go. |