PROCTOLOGISTICS
We will make America strong again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And we will make America great again.
-Donald Trump
Well, boys and girls, we’re getting down to the end. I hope you’re all enjoying your holidays, I know I am. I’ll keep this short and sweet, and let your own words take us to the rankings.
YOU SAID IT
Big Deal – My friend was in prison. He said he had to join a gang or get reckt every day so he joined some white power guys. He said he had to either pay to get in, suk a dik or get the shit kicked out of him as entrance fee. His prison ID shows him with a swollen and purple face because he was broke and nohomo.
Raji –
DEAL SOME DRUGS AND GO TO PRISON
JOIN A GANGS YOUR BEST DECISION
GET BEAT UP OR PAY ADMISSION
OR SUCK A COCK FOR YOUR AUDITION
French Andy – the middle kid finally uncovered the sex toys location in my house. Lolhim
Preparation_A – he touched his mom’s dried vaj juice
Donny – I’m really amped for olympic curling season.
BP – I also curled in High School. #justwisconsinthingsapparently
theNichels – We didn’t have a curling team in HS because I didn’t go to a bitch high school
IT’S TIME TO RANK ‘EM AND SPANK ‘EM
| Rank | Streak | Team | Record | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | W1 | Philadelphia Eagles | 13-2 | theNichels is a dick. |
| 2 | W3 | Carolina Panthers | 11-4 | Thatsalottapotatoes sucks ass. |
| 3 | W2 | New England Patriots | 12-3 | Donny likes to stick things up his butt. |
| 4 | W2 | Minnesota Vikings | 11-4 | CJammin is queer as a 3 dollar bill. |
| 5 | W2 | Los Angeles Rams | 11-4 | BP has AIDs. |
| 6 | W1 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 12-3 | Big Deal puts dog shit on his sandwiches. |
| 7 | W2 | New Orleans Saints | 11-4 | natesweet diddles young boys. |
| 8 | L1 | Jacksonville Jaguars | 10-5 | BWC is a retard. |
| 9 | W3 | Kansas City Chiefs | 9-6 | Gundy finger bangs orphans. |
| 10 | W2 | Baltimore Ravens | 9-6 | ASR swallows loads on the reg. |
| 11 | W1 | Seattle Seahawks | 9-6 | MKE has a tiny dick. |
| 12 | W1 | Los Angeles Chargers | 8-7 | theNichels is married to a Canadian, for fucks sake! |
| 13 | L1 | Atlanta Falcons | 9-6 | MIB is more rank then these rankings. |
| 14 | L1 | Dallas Cowboys | 8-7 | Natra floated a loan to his mother to front her hooking business. |
| 15 | L1 | Detroit Lions | 8-7 | SDL cheats on his taxes. |
| 16 | L1 | Buffalo Bills | 8-7 | Brickfinger thinks bacon sucks. |
| 17 | W2 | Washington Redskins | 7-8 | LOW eats peanut butter and crackers and tries to whistle with his mouth full. |
| 18 | L3 | Tennessee Titans | 8-7 | Shooter's mouth is usually full of cocks. |
| 19 | W1 | Arizona Cardinals | 7-8 | Krush jacks off to Anne Murray's greatest hits. |
| 20 | W4 | San Francisco 49ers | 5-10 | Horse refuses to brush his teeth. |
| 21 | W1 | Chicago Bears | 5-10 | Raji's breath smells like rotten ass. |
| 22 | W1 | Cincinnati Bengals | 6-9 | LKP only flushes the toilet once a week. |
| 23 | L2 | Green Bay Packers | 7-8 | MaC panics when people say hello to him. |
| 24 | L2 | Oakland Raiders | 6-9 | Reggie sticks a hose up his butt and sucks his farts. |
| 25 | L2 | Miami Dolphins | 6-9 | Curtis gives his mother a reach around when they hug. |
| 26 | L3 | New York Jets | 5-10 | Gundy eats his boogers. |
| 27 | L1 | Denver Broncos | 5-10 | Glove saves his belly button lint in a mayonnaise jar. |
| 28 | L5 | Tampa Bay Bucanneers | 4-11 | Andy scoots around naked on his carpet to clean his anal gland. |
| 29 | L5 | Houston Texans | 4-11 | TheHairy doesn't believe in vaccinations . |
| 30 | L6 | Indianapolis Colts | 3-12 | J.J. is a flat earther. |
| 31 | L5 | New York Giants | 2-13 | G&G is a lazy. low down, pud sucking, degenerate moron. |
| 32 | L15 | Cleveland Browns | 0-15 | theNichels voted for Donald Trump. |