Did you know they named winter storms? I didn’t. I had no idea, until I was reading the news this morning. “Winter Storm Bozeman Blasts U. S.”
Why the hell not? There are freeze reports in all 50 states. Think about that. That includes Hawaii, where the temperature at Mauna Kea on the Big Island dropped to 31 degrees.
It got me to thinking, how many inches of dick shrinkage that would add up to? Also, if you added up the length of all the erect nipples, would we have a net gain, or net loss? I’m guessing loss, but who in the hell knows.
Protoplasm, what are you going to do about it?
Anywho…
Week eleven is in the books, and we still can’t crown a Superbowl champ. I can tell you it won’t be the Oakland Raiders. With their tenth loss in a row, the Raiders are officially eliminated from the playoffs. This marks the earliest exit since 2004 Miami Dolphins. There should be some sort of prize for getting eliminated before thanksgiving; a bronze turd, or something.
In The News
The NFL announced that Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, will suspended without pay for at least the remainder of the season. You want to hear the crazy part? It is possible the Peterson could play this Sunday against the Green Bay Packer, pending his appeal. That’s some crazy shit right there.
Rex Ryan was fined $100,000 for the use of profanity after The Jets week 10 upset of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Personally, if I were the NFL, I’d be more offended by the shit show the Jets march out on the field every Sunday.
The Drug Enforcement Administration interviewed the medical staffs of several visiting teams this weekend, and searched for drugs. There has been no indication that any irregularities have been found. THANKS OBAMA!
Who’s Hot
The Green Bay packers are coming off their second consecutive 50+ point output. This is the first time in Franchise history the team has topped 50 point in two consecutive weeks. I think we all know that Dom Capers deserves most of the credit.
Who’s Not
Take your pick. Both the Carolina Panthers and the New York Giants have strung together 5 losses. Here’s the sad part, with three wins, the Panthers are only a half a game out of first place in their division.
You Said It
Ethan – Aliens must look at our probes and spaceships and think “LOL look at these idiots. Nice piece of space junk you got there, fucktards”
LaCW – If they do a space Jam 2 get Kevin Durant or Derrick Rose as the lead not LeBron.
adambballn – Was going to take this girl out to dinner Wednesday…She said how about we just hang out at my place instead. I’m totally having sex.
G & G – I think we should hire a Cricket writer, just to understand the game
Prep – Little did you all know that I had a drone with a camera on it follow you around all last weekend, while I masturbated voraciously to the feed.
JJ – I’d rather be probed by aliens than see a sequel to Space Jam. As for the rest of you, you make me proud to write for such a high class blog.